The Secret of Sick Children

Unbeknown to them, the siblings are also here to do my bidding.
At the moment they serve me by bringing sickness home from the Sickness Supermarket, also known as school.

Me being sick is not all fun, but it does have its advantages.
For one, it gives me a blocked and running nose.
Now, I can't suck my dummy with a blocked nose, because I won't be able to breathe.
I also haven't quite figured out breathing through my mouth.
I can do it while I am awake and concentrating, but as soon as I am asleep it doesn't work.
That means that when I am sick, I can only sleep for three minutes at a time.
This is pretty bad for the parentals. Very bad in fact. Because if I can't sleep, they can't sleep.
They both look shattered. Absolutely shattered.
But this is not my problem, they already have three kids.
Its not like they could have forgotten this part of parenthood.
Perhaps they are just stupid after all.

What nobody has figured out yet is the big picture, and this is that we baby's control all the childhood sickness in the world.

I am a perfect little incubator for disease.
The siblings pick up a germ at school.
They bring it home and introduce it to the family.
They have been getting sick one at a time, passing it on to each other.
But they have been super vigilant about not making me sick.
They even went out and bought hand sanitizers which are littered all over the house.
Having the house look like ER has kept me in the clear until now.
And now, just at the moment when all the others get well, my nose and eyes will start running like the Niagara falls, and I will grimace as my innocent little chest is wracked by little coughs.
And best of all, next week, when they have nursed me back to health, my perfect little incubator body will throw their high temperature and viral infections right back at them for round two.

And the beauty of it all will be the three day window before the siblings exhibit symptoms.
Allowing them to take it back to school and infect all their little classmates.

Who by the way, often have their own little baby incubators at home.
And so the circle continues.

One day some bright spark will figure it out and get a Nobel prize for their effort.
Until then, we will continue to infect and rule the world.